Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Dear All,
The devastating news about Neil reached us by Liz following which we mailed to Helen and Sjoerd. I was very moved by the blog of Anna to which described so precisely what Erica and I are feeling. We remember Neil coming to stay with us in Holland a long time ago. A young lad full of enterprise with a keen appetite to explore the world by himself. Years later, at several family occasions when we met eachother we picked up where we left the last time without any effort. So easy going and always making you feel special. The unavoidable cannot be avoided but is hard to accept, all the more considering the circumstances which led to his death.
The one question coming back is "Why". The next thought is "what if" followed by "if only".
These questions generate a grief which is nearly unbearable and yet we cannot but try to come to terms with it somehow. The somehow may well be the knowledge that we carry eachother in this grief which binds us together and I am sure that Neil would want us to see it that way. It gives a meaning to an unanswered question.
For many years there is piece of paper on my desk which I highly value. The title is Footprints, Helen read it at Mother's funeral service. It can give us some solace, if I may use that word.
Neil may look down on us, with that lovely boyish smile, hoping that it gives us something helping us to cope. I embrace you all,
Love,
Rob and Erica.
The one question coming back is "Why". The next thought is "what if" followed by "if only".
These questions generate a grief which is nearly unbearable and yet we cannot but try to come to terms with it somehow. The somehow may well be the knowledge that we carry eachother in this grief which binds us together and I am sure that Neil would want us to see it that way. It gives a meaning to an unanswered question.
For many years there is piece of paper on my desk which I highly value. The title is Footprints, Helen read it at Mother's funeral service. It can give us some solace, if I may use that word.
Neil may look down on us, with that lovely boyish smile, hoping that it gives us something helping us to cope. I embrace you all,
Love,
Rob and Erica.
Thats my gorgeous bro!
Just been emailed this pic by my good friend jaqui, and wanted to share it, taken about 3 years ago at a birthday celeb (i think mine??) in our garden. thats my gorgeous bro!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
From His Mother
We are still finding it too hard to accept that Neil will not walk into the room again, or that I will not hear 'Hi Mum' at the end of a phone.
Neil would be highly amused to think that as a result of his untimely and totally unexpected death, his Mum is actually learning to access and use a Blog in his honour.
This is a first posting, and will not be the last, but as it is fairly late after an emotional day, and we have to get up at 5.0am tomorrow morning to travel to Bristol to pick up his girlfriend Emma, I will desist in writing anything further tonight.
Suffice to say that I heartily endorse all that Anna has already written, and I will be returning to communicate further about our wonderful son, Neil.
Neil would be highly amused to think that as a result of his untimely and totally unexpected death, his Mum is actually learning to access and use a Blog in his honour.
This is a first posting, and will not be the last, but as it is fairly late after an emotional day, and we have to get up at 5.0am tomorrow morning to travel to Bristol to pick up his girlfriend Emma, I will desist in writing anything further tonight.
Suffice to say that I heartily endorse all that Anna has already written, and I will be returning to communicate further about our wonderful son, Neil.
From his sister Anna
Suddenly, and tragically, my amazing brother Neil died unexpectedly at home on Thursday 9th April aged 34.
The circumstances surrounding his death are still unclear and to date 'unexplained', but we know that there was no one else involved. He was a healthy young man, living his life to the full, with no idea of what was around the corner.
Obviously it has come as a huge shock to his girlfriend and soulmate Emma whom he lives with, and all of his family. We are deeply shocked not only by his death, but with struggling to work out what may have happened to him. At this point all we can do is guess really, which is too painful to contemplate, so trying to avoid until we get some facts.
I cannot say out loud the circumstances surrounding his death, so my apologies to anyone who reads this who I should be speaking to, instead of hiding behind my keyboard.
In brief he was found by Emma, who had kissed him as she left earlier in the day, for a day out with a friend. She came home later and noticed something that raised her suspicion. On searching the house she found him in the bath with his face in the water.
Her attempts to ressucitate Neil were in vain, as she knew (and it was confirmed by paramedices that had attended) that he had been dead for some time. The situation must have been horrific in the extreme, and Emma's physical strength to get him out of the bath, and her emotional strength to try to revive him are awesome. Thank you for that Emma, on top of all you will have to go through now and in the future in your grief and your sorrow, I am so sorry that you will also have to live with the memory of finding him.
We were all in Greece with Minas' family when we got the news, and faced a long and traumatic journey home for the absolute worst possible reason. We had to keep a lid on our emotion, as did not want to alarm or tell the girls until we got home and were able to talk to them properly. At times this was impossible, and the physical ache, and strength of our grief was not always able to be kept below the surface. Now at least we are home, and taking every comfort we can from each other.
Please don't be shy to see or speak to me, I may cry (or wail), but I want to acknowledge what has happened, and would hate english embarrassment to stop people form being open and honest. The greeks don't do it that way, they are open, forthright, practical, and caring in their very tender way. i had people who I hardly know, hugging me and looking in my eyes to acknowledge that pain.
A pain that is indescribable at losing my dear, dear Neil. I love you so much, wherever you are.
The circumstances surrounding his death are still unclear and to date 'unexplained', but we know that there was no one else involved. He was a healthy young man, living his life to the full, with no idea of what was around the corner.
Obviously it has come as a huge shock to his girlfriend and soulmate Emma whom he lives with, and all of his family. We are deeply shocked not only by his death, but with struggling to work out what may have happened to him. At this point all we can do is guess really, which is too painful to contemplate, so trying to avoid until we get some facts.
I cannot say out loud the circumstances surrounding his death, so my apologies to anyone who reads this who I should be speaking to, instead of hiding behind my keyboard.
In brief he was found by Emma, who had kissed him as she left earlier in the day, for a day out with a friend. She came home later and noticed something that raised her suspicion. On searching the house she found him in the bath with his face in the water.
Her attempts to ressucitate Neil were in vain, as she knew (and it was confirmed by paramedices that had attended) that he had been dead for some time. The situation must have been horrific in the extreme, and Emma's physical strength to get him out of the bath, and her emotional strength to try to revive him are awesome. Thank you for that Emma, on top of all you will have to go through now and in the future in your grief and your sorrow, I am so sorry that you will also have to live with the memory of finding him.
We were all in Greece with Minas' family when we got the news, and faced a long and traumatic journey home for the absolute worst possible reason. We had to keep a lid on our emotion, as did not want to alarm or tell the girls until we got home and were able to talk to them properly. At times this was impossible, and the physical ache, and strength of our grief was not always able to be kept below the surface. Now at least we are home, and taking every comfort we can from each other.
Please don't be shy to see or speak to me, I may cry (or wail), but I want to acknowledge what has happened, and would hate english embarrassment to stop people form being open and honest. The greeks don't do it that way, they are open, forthright, practical, and caring in their very tender way. i had people who I hardly know, hugging me and looking in my eyes to acknowledge that pain.
A pain that is indescribable at losing my dear, dear Neil. I love you so much, wherever you are.
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