Dear All,

The devastating news about Neil reached us by Liz following which we mailed to Helen and Sjoerd. I was very moved by the blog of Anna to which described so precisely what Erica and I are feeling. We remember Neil coming to stay with us in Holland a long time ago. A young lad full of enterprise with a keen appetite to explore the world by himself. Years later, at several family occasions when we met eachother we picked up where we left the last time without any effort. So easy going and always making you feel special. The unavoidable cannot be avoided but is hard to accept, all the more considering the circumstances which led to his death.
The one question coming back is "Why". The next thought is "what if" followed by "if only".
These questions generate a grief which is nearly unbearable and yet we cannot but try to come to terms with it somehow. The somehow may well be the knowledge that we carry eachother in this grief which binds us together and I am sure that Neil would want us to see it that way. It gives a meaning to an unanswered question.
For many years there is piece of paper on my desk which I highly value. The title is Footprints, Helen read it at Mother's funeral service. It can give us some solace, if I may use that word.
Neil may look down on us, with that lovely boyish smile, hoping that it gives us something helping us to cope. I embrace you all,
Love,
Rob and Erica.